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Our Experiences Sexual Health & Wellness

Maintaining A Healthy Sex Life As Parents

October 19, 2016

Being a parent has been, and continues to be, a truly rewarding experience for the two us. Parenting isn’t easy, but we’ve certainly learned a lot about ourselves as individuals. Watching our kids grow and evolve into teenagers is truly remarkable. They grow more and more wise each day while somehow maintaining the innocence of a child. The constant off-the-wall comments and questions we receive from them makes us laugh every single day and we’re really thankful for that.

We have two teenage boys, ages 13 & 14, and they are curious about everything! About 2 years ago, our 14 year old had sex education presented to him at school followed by our 13 year old just last year. Both of them came home filled with questions as well as giving us a “lesson” about sexuality. Since then, their sexual curiosity has come to a peak as well as their openness. They now walk around the house talking about boners, we’ve checked their phones to find PornHub in the browser history, and they’ve even tried snooping around in our bedroom (our 13 year old found a ball gag that we accidentally left in the nightstand…oops). Evening meals as a family have now become a traditional town hall meeting about sex. There’s nothing like having a mouthful of food at the dinner table and receive a question like: “How often do you guys have sex?” Or, “Is sex fun?” “Does it feel good?” In most cases, we try to answer their questions with sincerity, truth, and honesty.

As parents, the ability to have sex anytime and anywhere are gone (at least for us). The infant and toddler days are now a thing of the past. We no longer have the ability to use the excuse “Mommy and Daddy were just wrestling” after being caught in the act. There’s no more “let’s get it on” while the baby sleeps. Our two boys now watch over us like vultures circling around their next meal. To us, they’re like covert secret agents waiting for their next big bust. Making love is difficult when our 14-year-old’s bedroom is next to us and the 13-year-old is directly below. Loud and rumbly vibrators don’t get used at bedtime like they did years ago. Hot, steamy, rigorous sex doesn’t happen spontaneously when the boys are home. Even though we’re both bursting at our seams, we’re forced to wait it out.

Due to our kids’ evolving sexual curiosity, we’ve had to take lots of precautionary measures to ensure our own sexual safety. It’s especially difficult operating a business focused on sexuality and selling sex toys since our boys are not yet aware about what we do. We’ve put keyed locks on our bedroom and office/den doors to prevent prying eyes and hands from entering and discovering the true identity of our business. When a new package of sex toys arrives at our doorstep, we’re often asked “what’s in the box?” The usual reply, “just some stuff for the business.” We truly wish we could tell them about what we do, but they’re not yet mature enough. Not so long ago, our 13-year-old told us that he could hear every time that one of us would move around in the bed. With that said, we’ve had to lock ourselves in another room or move to the floor when making love. Thankfully, we’ve recently replaced our bedframe with one that doesn’t make any noise. Also, we often make lots of noise during our sexcapades. It takes a great deal of self-control to remain silent during an explosive orgasm, but somehow we’ve managed to do it. It’s really hard not to moan and scream during orgasmic bliss!

If you are not a parent, by now, you’re probably thinking to yourself “I’m not sure I want to be a parent after all.” It’s not our intent to scare you to death about having kids. As we stated earlier, being a parent is very rewarding. If you’re reading this and do have kids, rest assured, there are ways to keep the fires of passion burning hot. Here are some things that work for us:

Say “yes” to sleepovers. The next time your child asks if they can spend the night at a friend’s house, let them go. While their gone, make good use of your time together and have some naughty fun.
Send your kids away to their grandparents for an overnight or for the weekend. Grandparents tend to love bonding with their grandchildren. Again, make use of your time and get freaky!
Have a quickie. Lock the bedroom door and get naked while the kids play outside, at the park, or at a friend’s house.
Make love with music. Turn up the volume on your favorite sexy playlist so the kids can’t hear the two of you.
Wait until kids are in deep sleep and then get it on. Wait a couple of hours after they’ve fallen asleep and have all the fun you want. It’s likely they won’t wake up.
Plan a “nooner”. Meet your partner at home during lunchtime and make them your “main course” while the kids are at school.
Try bathroom/shower sex. Kids typically don’t want to see their parents naked and will typically leave you alone. Turn on the bathroom’s exhaust fan to create an additional noise barrier and remember to lock the door!
Let your kids out of the house and give them a curfew. For teens, let them go out with their friends. Most teens don’t want to be home until they absolutely have to. Give them a curfew so you know exactly when they’ll be home. Enjoy some couples playtime while their gone.
Stay at a hotel. Make reservations for the two of you at a nearby hotel if your kids are older, trustworthy, and capable of staying at home for a night by themselves.

We’ve been able to maintain a really healthy sex life using the ideas above. In fact, we think our sex life has improved. Quickies have been a lot of fun for us and have brought back some spontaneity to our relationship. During periods when the boys are away from the house for an entire night, or weekend, we’ve been able to have fun in multiple areas of our house, scatter sex toys everywhere, break out our massage table for erotic massages, bondage play…you name it, we’ve done it. Being a parent is not the end to a healthy sex life, it may actually improve it so many ways!

We hope you have enjoyed this post. Please feel free to comment if you have any questions, concerns, or information you'd like to share. Be sure to check back for more blogs and product reviews or subscribe to our newsletter for automatic updates. We can also be reached directly via email at robinandliam@couplesplaythings.com.

Thanks again,

Robin & Liam