Taking It To The Edge

August 16, 2016 1 Comment

Taking It To The Edge-Couples Playthings

Have you tried edging with your partner? From our own experience, we can say that it’s very intense but takes some practice to get it right. By now you’re probably wondering…what is edging? Edging is purposely ending sexual stimulation to delay, or stop, an orgasm from occurring. By doing so, especially for us, it often results in a more intense orgasm later on. Other terms for edging are orgasm control, or, orgasm denial. Edging has been around for a long time, especially amongst those that are involved with BDSM. Both men and women can practice edging and can be performed as a couple, or by yourself. When properly performed, edging can be an absolutely amazing experience!

Imagine the feeling of getting so close to orgasm…your hormone levels and state of arousal have reached their peak and you’re ready to explode. Suddenly, you or your partner stops what they’re doing, falling just short of orgasm. Due to this abrupt ‘shut down’, your physical arousal may decrease, yet, your mental arousal stays almost the same. You now realize you’re in a state of emotional bliss, but without the explosive orgasm. Sounds interesting, right?

Why would I want to do this?

Edging is practiced between partners for several reasons. Some of the reasons include:

  • In a BDSM scene, edging is used to show power and control over your sub.
  • It helps extend sexual intercourse and foreplay. Often times, especially from our own experience, females tend to take longer to reach orgasm than males. For this reason, edging is a great way for women to help ensure their man lasts longer.
  • It can help intensify sensations leading to a mind-blowing orgasm.
  • For both men and women, edging can help increase sexual stamina.
  • Edging can help men recover from premature ejaculation.

How do I do this?

As earlier mentioned, edging takes quite a bit of practice. Before edging with a partner, we strongly encourage trying to master edging on yourself. By our own personal standards, we feel an edging session should last roughly 20 to 25 minutes.

Here are some steps to assist you in becoming an edging master on yourself.

  1. Start out with some of your favorite lube. For men, stimulate yourself to the point of an erection. Continue on by slowly stroking from shaft to head, and back. Continue stroking and increase stroke speed and gripping pressure. For women, start by first rubbing your labia and clitoris working your way to inserting a toy or fingers into the vagina.
  2. Once you feel that you’re nearing orgasm, immediately stop what you’re doing.
  3. Continue to take slow, deep breaths. At this point, try stimulating another erogenous zone on your body. Preferably, rub somewhere that feels good, but won’t get you to the point of orgasm.
  4. Once your body calms back down, you are now at a point to rebuild. Go back to step 1.
  5. Continue steps 1 through 4 until you’ve done this for 20 to 25 minutes, then, let yourself achieve orgasm.

Edging is a bit more difficult when performing on your partner. Using similar steps as above, you have the ability to control your partner’s orgasm. With proper communication, and knowing your partner’s reactions, you can determine when to cease stimulation.  

Here are some steps to assist with mastering edging on your partner.

  1. When performing edging on a man, first, lube him up. Start by slowing rubbing his penis to the point of an erection. Once erect, continue stroking him at whatever pace you prefer. When performing on a woman, start with gentle stimulation to her labia and clit. Once she’s starting to heat up, feel free to insert a finger(s), or a toy, into her vagina. Or, feel free to have sex.
  2. Here’s the tricky part. Since you can’t feel what your partner is feeling, you’ll need to pay close attention to their reactions, breathing, and body gestures. Hopefully, you’ve experienced and watched your partner achieve orgasm in prior sessions. If so, you’ll know when they are close to orgasm. If not, have your partner tell you when they are very close. Once you know they are close, immediately stop what you’re doing.
  3. Your partner will want to start taking slow, deep breaths to allow themselves to calm down. At this time, try stimulating another erogenous zone on their body. Again, rub somewhere that feels good, but won’t get them so aroused that they want to orgasm.
  4. Once your partner calms back down, you are now at a point to rebuild by circling back to step 1.
  5. Continue steps 1 through 4 until you’ve done this for 20 to 25 minutes, then, let your partner achieve orgasm.

Sometimes when exploring new sexual roles and ideas, it often results in failure. Don’t get discouraged, simply take things one step at a time and keep practicing. For us, we tried a couple of times each week for nearly a month before we could control each other’s orgasms. Due to our own deep connection, we often passed the “point of no return” and ended up climaxing. If you’re looking for a really intense experience, work yourself or your partner through an entire 20 to 25 minute period, but end things without climaxing…it is very intense!


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Thanks again,
Robin & Liam

1 Response


November 30, 2017

…and don’t forget, add sex toys to your edging experience can be tons of fun! A Fleshlight is a perfect option for anyone with a penis. Clitoral vibrators are also a great idea. Go a step further and include an anal plug to the experience. We’ve tried it all so let us know if you need any recommendations!

XOXO, Liam

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