In our original BDSM article, BDSM…what is that?, we touched base on the true definition of BDSM. So far, we’ve learned that BDSM is not just beating the crap out of our partner during sex. We’ve also learned that it is not one single, all encompassing, act. There are three facets to BDSM. It is so much more complicated…and is safe, sane and consensual. In this article, we are going to dive deeper into the last two letters of BDSM. Do you remember what they stand for?
If not, SM stands for sadism and masochism, or, S&M. S&M is often linked with one of the other two practices: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, or possibly both. In an S&M scene, there are typically two players. Those players take on either a dominant or submissive role…sometimes both depending on personal preference.
Sadism is the enjoyment that someone gets from causing pain or punishing someone. Much like D/s, a dominant player can control his/her submissive through several ways including bondage, humiliation and various methods of pleasurable torture. Yes, torture…but please keep in mind that all things done are agreed upon and would not be done without the sub’s consent. Masochism is sexual pleasure obtained from receiving either physical or psychological punishment, or both. Sadomasochism is a person who obtains sexual gratification from both giving and receiving psychological or physical punishment.
There are so many ways that S&M is practiced. Some people make this a permanent part of their life. Many members of the BDSM community have even remodeled rooms in their homes to include makeshift “dungeons” where almost all scenes are performed. Although dungeons are not required, they do associate well between the acts and environment. S&M truly involves whips and floggers, welts and bruises…and sometimes a little pleasurable screaming. Does this sound scary? No worries, participants do a lot of work researching the ins-and-outs of S&M.
Be sure to read our article BDSM Code of Conduct to learn more about how people prepare to enter into the S&M world. For more information about S&M, and BDSM, please feel free to browse online for more information. There are many websites that are solely devoted to BDSM. You will also be able to find great books as well.
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