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Sex Toy 101

A Beginner's Guide to Purchasing Your First Sex Toy

March 29, 2016

If you are a newcomer, or as we’d like to say “newcummer” (pun intended), to the idea of buying your first sex toy, you’ve come to the right place as this article is meant just for you! There are so many things to think about when purchasing your first sex toy. In a marketplace where there are literally thousands of products to choose from, finding the perfect one can seem like a daunting task. As with anything you purchase, the one you end up with may not always be the perfect one. Often times, through trial and error, you’ll eventually find the toy that matches your needs. We’ve put together a series of questions and answers to help you choose your first toy.

Question 1: Are you playing alone or playing together?

If you are going to be using toys together, have you talked with your partner yet? Communication between partners, in our opinion, is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship whether it be in, or out of, the bedroom. Sit down with your partner and express your interest in adding some toys to your bedroom fun. If you both agree that it would be fun to add a toy (or you are playing solo), let’s move onto the next question.

Question 2: What areas of the body are you attempting to pleasure?

There are so many erogenous zones on the human body…and there are so many toys out there for each one of those erogenous zones. Starting out, we recommend keeping things simple. There’s nothing wrong with simplicity. In regards to toy size, it’s usually best to keep things on the smaller end and work your way up to larger ones. We’ve created a list below to help match your pleasure part with the right type of toy:

Labia & Vulva – Use anything vibrating that has a large surface area. A toy with a larger surface area will cover more of the vulva leading to a greater area of stimulation. Lay-on vibes and massage wands work great for exterior stimulation.
Vagina – Use a small to intermediate size dildo, or vibrator, with a limited amount of texture. Too much texture could overstimulate for first-timers.
Clitoris – Use a mini vibe, bullet vibe, or any vibrator that has a pointy head. The pointy head will allow for pinpoint stimulation. We recommend a mini vibe that has multiple speeds so that you can find the right speed/intensity that works for you. Start with a lower speed to avoid overstimulation.
G-spot – Use a vibrator with a contoured shaft that has a bulbous head. A contoured shaft will help reach the g-spot more easily. A bulbous head will be more filling and, due to its size, will allow for greater stimulation of the g-spot.
Penis – Use a masturbation sleeve or masturbation glove. The sleeves often have different textures inside which will create intense pleasure. There are also textured gloves available for those who like a more “hands on” experience.
Anus – Use a small butt plug or very short and narrow dildo. For beginners, size matters greatly. Putting something too large early on could cause some unwanted pain. We also recommend starting any anal play with a finger first to ensure that you like this area stimulated. If you like it, then upgrade to a toy.
P-spot – Use a small vibrator with bulbous head or prostate massager. Similar to g-spot stimulation, a bulbous head will be more filling and allow for easier stimulation. There are Prostate massagers available that are naturally contoured to fit snug against the p-spot. Some of these massagers also have an exterior extension that allows for the perineum to be stimulated at the same time as the prostate.
Nipples – Use small nipple suckers/pumps. These devices are easily placed over the nipple. Some of these suckers/pumps have a cap at the top that you simply twist. The twisting provides a vacuum-like pressure. Other suckers create pressure by simply squeezing the bulb. Upon releasing, the nipple is sucked into the bulb.

Once you’ve figured out which parts you would like to stimulate, move onto question 3.

Question 3: What kind of material should my first toy be?

For us, this is an easy one. Our preference is always silicone. Silicone is body-safe, non-porous and very firm yet has some slight flexibility. Regardless of the material, always use body-safe materials that do not contain phthalates. It is important to read product specs to find out what material the toy is made from. If you cannot find this, please ask the seller or see if it can be found on the manufacturer’s website. We can also find out for you. Having a non-porous toy is very important as those with pores can hide bacteria making you more susceptible to infections if the toy is not properly cleaned. In fact, there are several researchers that claim any toy that is porous can never be 100% clean and bacteria-free. There are several popular materials listed below that are very safe (and fun to use):

Silicone – Great for beginners and experts alike. You can find several different levels in firmness and texture with silicone.
Stainless Steel – Great for those who like a heavier feeling. These are also great for temperature play as they can be cooled or heated for some extra stimulation.
Aluminum – Great for those that like temperature play but often without the heaviness of Stainless Steel.
Wood – The wood products we carry have been guaranteed to be non-porous. Wood products often come in some very unique shapes to enhance your creativity in the bedroom.
Stone – Similar to stainless steel, these tend to be very heavy.
Glass – These products tend to be somewhat heavy. Glass is very popular to those that like firmness without flexibility. Glass is very smooth and can provide intense pleasure. Most glass products can also be used for temperature play.

We recommend avoiding products that are made of Jelly. These toys are made from a mixture of rubber and PVC that result in a jelly-like feel. These products often contain phthalates which are toxic and harmful to the body. If you’ve figured out what type of material you’d like, we will now move onto question 4.

Question 4: What size of toy should I purchase?

The size of the toy can vary from person to person. During sexual intercourse, if you prefer a larger length and more girth, it would make sense to find a toy similar to your past sexual experiences. However, if you are not really certain as to what you can handle, start off with a smaller toy. Sex toy play is very similar to education levels. What do we mean by this?

Well, think of beginner toy play as if you were in elementary school. Starting out, you’re very uncertain what you like and dislike. You have very little, to no experience whatsoever. This is where you start learning the fundamentals and trying things out for the first time.

Once you have some experience and have learned and understood the simple fundamentals, you graduate and step up to a new level…middle school. Here, you polish those fundamentals and learn new ones. With sex toys, you move up to different sized toys and those that have more features.

Lastly, once you’ve had lots of experience and know what you are doing, you move into high school. Now you are filled with knowledge and experience and learn the deeper meanings of things. With sex toys, you know what works and what doesn’t. For experienced users, you take on new challenges and try new exotic toys with weird shapes and crazy features. Your body is used to all intensity levels that a toy can offer. You are now at a level where you can truly appreciate and understand all things about sex toys.

Have you figured out which size you need? If so, let’s move onto question 5.

Question 5: How much should I pay for my first toy?

Each person is unique as to their spending habits and what they can afford. For those on a limited budget, we recommend purchasing something that is a little less pricey. There are wonderful products out there that are made of high-quality materials but may have less features. Often times, you’ll find toys that are either rechargeable or are battery operated.

Battery operated toys are those that you have to put batteries inside. There's an upside to battery operated toys. If the batteries happen to run out of power during playtime, all that's needed is a fresh batteries and you can continue playing. Battery operated toys often cost much less that rechargeable ones.

Rechargeable toys have an internal battery and the toy gets plugged into a wall or USB charger. If price isn't a huge concern for you, then feel free to select a toy that is made of the absolute best material and likely has a lot of features. These toys often come with a manufacturer’s warranty and are built to last a long time with proper care. The major downside with rechargeable toys is if the toy runs out of power during playtime. The toy will need to be recharged and you can't continue using the toy until recharged.

Sex toy prices can range from $20 all the way up to $300+. Not to mention that there are sex machines out there that you can spend in excess of $1000! All in all, be aware of your budget and know that there is a perfect fit for you at any price range.

Question 6: Is there anything else that I should know?

With so many sex toys available in the marketplace of various shapes, sizes and materials…do not forget about lubricant. Sometimes your body’s natural lubricant is not enough, or, maybe that specific body part doesn’t produce its own lubrication. For this reason, we highly recommend purchasing a lubricant along with your toy. There is a wide range of lubricants available and you can’t go wrong with a water-based lubricant. Water-based lubricants are compatible with every single toy material listed above. Lubricants are very good for increasing pleasure while decreasing the chance of experiencing pain and discomfort. Water-based lubricants do not always last as long as other lubricants made of silicone. Silicone-based lubricants are super slick, long lasting, and are slightly more expensive. This type of lubricant is perfect for sex, but not great when toys are part of your playtime. The downside with silicone-based lubricants is that they are not compatible with sex toys made of silicone. When pairing silicone-based lubricant with a silicone toy, a chemical reaction called bonding can occur which will damage the toy’s silicone material.

Question 7: Where can I buy my first sex toy?

Easy answer…shop at Couples Playthings! Couples Playthings has a wide range of products in every popular category at a price range that everyone can appreciate. The products carried at Couples Playthings are high-quality and body safe. Seriously though, whether you shop at Couples Playthings or somewhere else, always purchase your toys from reputable retailers. Feel free to read more about buying from reputable retailers in our article Buyer Beware: Is A Good Deal Worth It?

Whether you’re new or experienced with toy play, please let us know if you have any product questions or need a recommendation. We are always here to help!

We hope you have enjoyed this post. Please feel free to comment if you have any questions, concerns or information you'd like to share. Be sure to check back for more blogs and product reviews or subscribe to our newsletter for automatic updates. We can also be reached directly via email at robinandliam@couplesplaythings.com.

Thanks again,

Robin & Liam