Sex toys were made for single women to be used alone. Have you heard this claim before? We don’t know if you have, but we’ve heard this comment on several occasions. We’ve heard many comments like this from friends, acquaintances and strangers alike. They’ve even told us that they either do not use sex toys at all because they’re in a healthy marriage, or, they feel like they would be cheating on their partner by using a toy for solo play. People have told us that sex toys are supposed to be used when you are alone and single. We've even been questioned as to whether or not our marriage was healthy. Our interrogator told us that sex toys are unnecessary in a healthy sexual relationship and can damage the entire relationship. Every time we hear these comments, the first thing we think is: they must not use toys or they are absolutely clueless as to the enjoyment they are missing from not playing with them.
Yes, it’s true that sex toys can be very popular among those that are single, or do not have a partner for bedroom fun. However, sex toys can be a lot of fun for couples that want to play together or alone. There isn’t anything wrong with being in a committed relationship and playing alone with a sex toy. But, there is so much more to offer in regards to hot session of toy play when it’s done together. Whether it be a toy for him, a toy for her, or a toy made for two…foreplay can last a lot longer and make it more exciting.
If you are one of the people that feels uncomfortable with couples sex toy play, we encourage you to give it a try. In our own experience, we’ve come a long way since purchasing our first toy. In fact, in the beginning, Robin used toys alone. It was later in our relationship that we tried them together. Our first experience with couples toy play occurred, by accident, while partaking in some shenanigans as we were lying in bed together. As a joke, Robin took a vibrator and pressed it against my genitals while I was lying there with my eyes closed. I think she was trying to startle me and get me to jump out of the bed (normally, I would do that). Instead, I was too tired and lazy to get up so I just laid there. Much to my surprise, the vibrations felt great! One thing lead to another and soon we were both naked and playing with the toy together. She pressed it against me sending vibrations all over my genitals. After getting me all heated up, I took the vibrator from her and started to use it on her. It was really hot…I mean really hot! Before you know it, we were making love and enjoying every minute of it. While inside her, we even took the vibrator and placed it against my shaft which sent amazing vibrations into her. That was the turning point for us. No longer did we use toys for just solo play. Yes, there are times when we play alone but we’ve come to a conclusion that toys are much more fun using together.
Getting started can sometimes be difficult if one person in the relationship is shy, or squeamish, to the thought of using sex toys. This is where some good old fashioned healthy communication comes into play. Take some time to express your thoughts to your partner. Let them know how you feel and share your ideas. Once you’re finished speaking, give your partner an opportunity behind the podium. Sit back and simply listen to what they have to say. Hopefully, by the end of the conversation, some sort of agreement or compromise has been made between the two of you. If not, have them read this article. If they are hesitant, or think sex toys are taboo, maybe reading this article or our other articles will help them realize that sex toys are becoming a common item found in the bedroom.
If you can get your partner on board with this new and exciting idea, shop for toys together. With such a wide range of toys and prices, it is best to start with something simple in the event that you or your partner really do not like toy play. Once you’ve tried some toy play together, and both of you like it, take some time together to discuss your future toy play. After our first time with toy play, we had a very productive conversation and did some shopping online together. Robin picked out a toy for herself that she thought would be a lot of fun and I picked one out for me. When our toys arrived, Robin was in control of the toy that I picked out and vice versa. The next time we were able to afford more toys, we bought two more. This time we mixed it up a bit. I was in control of choosing the toy that I wanted to use on her and she picked the toy she intended using on me. Again, when our toys arrived, we had some great fun. For me, it was a lot more exciting this time around since the toy she chose was not one that I would’ve picked. I wasn’t sure I would like it nor could I anticipate what the toy would feel like. Much to my own surprise, it felt amazing! After having several toy play sessions together, we knew this was going to be a permanent addition to our bedroom repertoire. At the current time, we’ve started shopping alone and like to surprise each other with new toys and they aren’t revealed until the very moment we start playing with them. This has added a lot of excitement and even greater pleasure!
For us, toy play sessions have really added a spark in our relationship. In fact, it has improved our relationship significantly. It has helped improve our communication and trust in each other. It can be very difficult for some of us to allow our partner to have control of us. I remember times when I blindfolded Robin and she would try peeking just to see what I was going to do next. She told me that she was nervous and uncertain, thus the reason she peeked. Once she realized and understood that I was going to be gentle and my ultimate goal was to make her feel good, the peeking stopped. Once complete trust was built between us, we were both able to lay back and enjoy everything that was happening without any hesitation or nervousness.
Over the past year, we’ve been very open with our friends about couples toy play. Sex toy play seems to be increasing in popularity each and every day. We’ve revisited the conversation with many of our friends as mentioned at the beginning of this article. Many of them who thought negatively about sex toys are now using them both alone and together…and loving every minute of it!
Sex toys have been around for thousands of years and, hopefully, for thousands more. We haven’t figured out why, over time, sex toys were kept secret and got a bad rap by so many in society. Sex toys were created to provide stimulation, pleasure, excitement and best of all…orgasms! Over the course of the past decade, major advances in product design have taken place which has resulted in a multi-billion dollar industry. With that being said, sex toy sales are steadily increasing which leads us to believe that more and more people, including couples, are incorporating sex toys in their bedroom play time. We’ve also noticed more and more people talking about them in a positive way. It’s about time, right?
If you need assistance finding the right toy for your first time, please feel free to contact us. We are more than happy to provide recommendations. Or, check out our article called A Beginners Guide to Purchasing Your First Sex Toy.
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